Doggone it
Hutchin’s road is a nice street. There are lots of neat houses in well kept yards that exude a decided sense of middle class blissfullness and harmony.
With one jarring note... hanging over all the gates (and I mean ALL the gates— like election posters) is the simple but sinister caution, “Beware of dog”.
Written in bold, block letters— one can readily imagine that these masterpieces of suburbia are guarded by ferocious, masticating monsters that amputate unwise intruders in single murderous lunges.
Thus anxious, I would tread warily in the middle of the road, looking fearfully to both sides for any sign of gusty canine fury at my humble tresspass.
But the scales were soon to fall from my eyes.
On one of my nervous sojourns down this road, I chanced upon a sample of the prodigious ‘BEWAAAARED’.
A round-eyed pomeranian, clinging to his master’s ankles was appearing cautiously from behind a gate. He stared at me foolishly and then quickly engaged to get himself out of my way, nearly strangling his fluffy neck on his leash, in sheer horror at the sight of a full grown adult.
The owner looked up red-faced. “He’s had one of his turns,” she told me shamefacedly. “He’s not normally like this, no one can predict him. He might bite any second,” she said looking down at the cowering mould of white fur hopefully. She tugged the leash suggestively.
The white mould whined and attempted anew to give up the ghost.
I tried not to look too pityingly at her.
But this was not all. There were more surprises to come. Another day, I was walking down the road (this time more boldly) and chanced to meet with another Hutchin’s road ‘bogeydog’.
There were two this time. Both friendly, both eager. They fawned through the gates and offered me smooth foreheads to pat. In their friendliness, they almost toppled the notice on their gate...
One other time comes to mind.
This time I had to convey a letter from one of my colleagues to one of the houses. Even though I was sufficiently disillusioned, I still showed dying respects for the ‘beware’ notice.
It was not to remain so.
The friends of my friend— upon spying my impending arrival— jumped up as one from the porch and frantically attempted to get a sleepy looking labrador out of my sight before I so much as touched the gate.
“He’s ferocious, you see,” they assured me later. From behind some chintz curtains I could see large doggy eyes looking through the glass surprised and hurt.
Now I know why one never actually ever saw any dogs here before.