I've decided to revise the earlier, rosy portrayal of my wayward and decietful pet. It is with glum sorrow that i inform you that she turned out to be a prestidigitator(i know i know, look it up!)
Three days ago my folks went on their annual, feel good Diwali rounds that basically involves forcibly wishing anyone that strays into their path or view. The dog and I decided to stay at home and watch a movie while others drowned in communal harmony; but woe and begone the power went and so did the movie. So Cookie and I sat outside on lawn chairs and watched the mosquitoes, dizzy on our blood do a crazy jig congratulating each other on an enexpected feast.
Just as I was dozing off, Cookie pricked up her ears and assumed a soppy, moony eyed expression. Looking up I was treated to the sight of a scrawny, raggedy creature of uncertain parentage gently nosing around the gate. Deaf to my hoarse yells, Cookie leapt into the paws of her beloved and led him away on a midnight tryst, while I watched in disbelief and dismay.
In a crass display of disobedience and stubbornness my pet destroyed all the myth and legend I had built about her for four years.
Luckily the folks were back five minutes later and cookie's encyclopaedia was walopped off the property in an encounter he will not soon forget.
Cookie is back to being the darling of the family.
Some things never change.

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN
This is one movie you can give a safe miss; especially if you expect a modicum of intelligence in movies you spend your precious leisure time watching. Stephen Norrington, the director makes a rare mess of what can otherwise be described as extreme torture, especially if you paid for good seats!
The movie starts with an armoured tank crashing through a wall and an extremely pretentious villain, cloak swirling magnificently, do a ‘Mogambo’ style entrance that leaves you choking with laughter. Enter an equally pretentious young servant of the crown who blunders his way through a sleepy African beerhouse and solicits the help of one Allan Quatermain, played by Sean Connery. This is where you stop laughing and start feeling annoyed. Quattermain is a commanding hero in the prime of life able to demolish five men parading about in “steel waistcoats” in a matter of seconds.
The annoyance increases manifold as you get introduced to the other characters. There is Dorian Grey, played by Stewart Townsend who is perversely killed off by an over enthusiastic script writer. Tom Sawyer, played by Shane West who does not turn out to be the town mayor, but a wishy washy youth obsessed with guns. The Invisible man, played by Tony Curran who is invisible in body and spirit for the most part of the movie. Dr. Jekyll, played by Jason Flemyng, who does quite a good job of interpreting his complicated character, bringing out the personal conflict in an interesting way. A domesticated vampire named Mina Harker, played by Peta Wilson and a completely expressionless captain Nemo, played by Naseerudin Shah.
Apart from the fact that these people are a motley crew. The only aim of bringing them together seems to be to borrow from their original characters without whose famous history the movie would be just a group of people with gargantuan abnormalities trying to outdo a villain with freakish ambitions. The whole movie is one big action sequence with no space in between for character formation, or indeed differentiation. Perhaps that’s why the director chose already well known characters. Moreover the sequences require the patience of a saint to withstand till the finish. The visual effects although gigantic, are shoddy and garishly clichéd.
The movie falls apart and begins to strain, when the viewer realizes that there is no structure or integration in the story and that the entire cast is as confused as they are.
All in all, not a very extraordinary enterprise.

Ps- Naseerudin Shah is impressive by himself, but put him together with a bunch of misdirected clowns and you get the cinematic equivalent of an opera that sings flat.

Humpty Dumpty was pushed...this suspicious opinion may not seem completely off track when compared to the heaps of other more perverse, paranoid views we take in everyday life.
For instance why do countries posess nuclear bombs and more importantly, why do individuals support their governments? Is the world becoming increasingly paranoid? Are people worried about things that dont need to be worried about?
A simple example will illustrate... Shaggy, my cousins puppy, likes to play with socks. He got hold of mine one morning and led me a dance around the hall in his usual clueless way (in what could be patented as the advanced doggy version of "Pokemon, the mindless mutt!")
As a final resort, I caught hold of his furry head and coaxed the sock out through his sharp teeth. Suddenly, like a shot from a sling, my grandmother threw herself at me yelling in blue fury,"you stupid girl, be careful, he'll hurt you." I was bemused, the sock was bemused and the dog was wonderstruck(my grandmother who is a large lady, seemed to me, much more dangerous than a pint sized mutt with dopey cheeks.) Later, she tried to hide her confusion by laughing it off, especially when she found out the dog was non-rabid and really quite harmless.
The point of this extremely winding and improbable entry is that we give too much credit to ourselves and too little to others. The "others" do the same till finally we all end up being extremely edgy and suspicious of the world in general and go off and buy ourselves nuclear bombs for "protection." "O what tangled webs we weave, when first we practise mindless intrigues."

Ever noticed the way your perspective changes when you get in the other guy's shoes. The next time you drive a vehicle, notice how the man (or woman ) in the next car always swerves into your intended line of path just when you want to make the turn, how the filthy truck in front of you deposits a billowing cloud of dark charcoal on your head just when you pull the window down(James Bond's BMW couldnt do it any better) How the pedestrian straining at the crossing to get across, suddenly charges over the road in front of you, just when you had worked up a good bit of speed. How the burly Sardarjee in the water lorry cheekily overtakes you from the left and then flashes you a grin just when you want to thrust your fist up his nose.

Now notice how you react when you take a walk down the same road. How the guy in the speeding car at the junction becomes the manifestation of a "Salman happy" despot. How the car beside your truck does pesky feints on a nice stretch of road. How the neighbouring van revs up its accleration threateningly in a cheap bid to get ahead. How the silly little vehicle beside your lorry seats one very bad tempered, war hungry driver who insists on being nasty on such a beautiful day.

Shoes on the other foot? I think so too!

Did you ever get the impression everyone’s out to get you? Well they are…
Here are a few handy tips to throw them off the scent-
When you see your dad approaching with that “lazy freeloader, I’ll give her some work to do” look on his face, pretend to be really worried about something, anything. It always works.

If you didn’t do your assignment and don’t know how to get out of it. Forget the dog ate my homework excuse (only Dodo’s fall for it anymore) instead, get out your old party hat, smear your face with hair gel and walk into class saying “Osama got my playstation” Even if you end up in the loony bin, you’ll still have confused them for a few hours at least.

If the movie is all sold out and you have nothing else to do with your afternoon, stand in the middle of the road and pull grotesque faces at the vehicles going in.

if the entire family watches Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, snicker loudly when someone on screen cries, doublecrosses, or tries to be sanctimonious. Likewise sniff loudly when the characters are deliriously happy(which will be very often) If nothing works, "water the artificial flowers on top of the TV during a show."

And finally, if you really do take me up on any of these tips you’re an extremely credulous person and shouldn’t be surfing the net unsupervised.

The time has come to tell you about the most interesting creature that walks the planet (if this web entry sounds controversial, its meant to be!) She has eyes the colour of cognac, a nose that would put ol' Cleo to shame and a body that combines grace and beauty of a staggering proportion.

If you happen to catch her sleeping, you'll find that she snores deliciously and does little doggy shivers that make you want to hug her to bits. This magnificient creature answers to the name of Cookie and displays a grand total of three activities. She eats, sleeps and plays ball! (Whoever said "it's a dogs life" didnt know what he was talking about!)

Cookie, by the way is incurably goodnatured; so much so that monkeys have been known to pull her nose or her tail, depending on which end they can get to first, nip up the nearest tree and laugh hysterically. Most of the time of course, they are just insanely jealous of her good looks and considerable charm. So shucks to sour grapes! Cookie remains a jewel that has no equal, a star that has no rival and a pet that has no imagination. Bless her!

Life is a twister. It blows you around and takes you places. But if you take the time to study it, you'll find that its possible to find a calm center, even in the midst of turmoil.

It was the beginning of the Diwali vacation and I had booked a ticket to go home to Cochin by the train from Central station. To get to Central, I had to catch the connecting train from Kurla. Was carrying a huge trunk apart from various other bits and pieces of luggage. Also was running late and getting rather desperate.

Bought my ticket and asked a burkha clad lady the way to platform 7. She said I could follow her as she was going there too . We made it just in time to catch the train which was already on the platform. She helped me in with my trunk and got me a place to sit. She then proceeded to cut an apple, part of which she forced me to eat. She told me about her family and gave me her address. I slowly felt my anxiety melting away, even though I was still running late.

Although I made the train by a squeak, I'm glad I was just in time to meet the lady in the burkha.There are some people you meet that you feel like you were meant to meet.And you meet them when you need to the most. It doesnt happen too often but when it does, you can be sure that an angel is at hand.

Can you last a day without lying? I tried and this is what happened. Woke up one morning with the vague feeling, I wanted to be truthful that day. A feeling that reached alarming intensity by the end of breakfast.
At the bus stop to college, the vague feeling had taken over completely. As I got on the bus I knew I would learn something new by the end of the day.Soon the conducter demanded change for my tenner. Very truthfully I told him not to bother and that I had enough change but I required all of it to pay the guy at the canteen for the burger week specials that were on offer today. What resulted was not very nice and let it suffice to know that by the time I got out of the bus my ears were extremely sore and my wallet considerably lighter(quite literally) So much for the Truth!
Next my friend who was waiting at the bus stop greeted me with an extra large grin and asked me how I thought she looked. She had on a terrible yellow blouse that looked like over ripe bananas onto which some flies had arbitrarily squashed themselves and stilettoes that ended in a point. So I told her she looked like a bowl of fruit trying to balance itself on toothpicks. She didnt appear very pleased as she turned abrubtly from me and charged away.
Fast foward to the History lecture where I thought I'd catch up with some personal reading. The lecturer however must have caught on as well because she asked me what I was upto? I truthfully told her that I was reading the latest Grisham thriller and would appreciate it if she gave me some personel space in class. Alas, she gave me my personal space outside class.
Just when i was re-evaluating my rash commitment to the Truth, my friend who was walking down the corridor caught sight of me and earlier tiff notwithstanding, gave me a sympathetic smile. Things started looking up. After all isn't it better to live one day as a lion ..... you know the rest!

If you think life is whizzing past you and cant get a grip, this is the place to pause and think. If you suffer untold misery and just need some sort of connection, this is the place to be. If you wallow in the throes of existential anarchy, you've come to the right place.
It may help to know that other people have the same doubts, the same uncertainties and the same vulnerabilities. This blog lets you make a funny face at life and helps you pull yourself together. So read on and laugh with me.